Happy new year, dear reader! I hope you had a gentle, refreshing weekend to start off this brand new year. This season of resolutions has always bothered me to a degree, all the build up and stress never felt worth the results.
I used to be all about the resolution culture. I made huge lists of all the things I would change about myself that would magically make everything better. Every year the ball would drop, the sun would rise, and nothing would change. It felt like I tried everything. SMART goals, journals, lists, vision boards. Now it feels obvious why nothing ever stuck. I relied too much on motivation. I expected far too much of myself. And I had bad reasons for the changes.
Motivation is fleeting. It is so interesting how such a big, emotional thing such as motivation can be so feeble. I once spent an entire night listening to motivational speeches from movies and TED talks to find the strength to clean my home. Spoiler alert. Nothing got done and I spent the next two days feeling terrible. So what can replace motivation? Find the why. The true, rock solid, never changing reason to do anything. I went from being fairly sedentary to working out every day overnight. Not because a number on a calendar changes but because I couldn't walk upright for two months straight. I need my mobility. For myself. For my home. For my kid. I found my why, found my grit, and now I'm doing the thing I have been beating myself up for not doing for more than a decade. Consistently. There are absolutely days that I slip, but the next day I just keep going without being unkind to myself.
I am easily the cruelest person to myself. My expectations for myself are so high I have crushed myself under the weight. Several times. And that struggle was magnified by new year resolutions. The ridiculous pressure to change myself, to hit a number on a scale, to practice my religion a certain way, to act a certain way. This year I am so glad to not live under such immense pressure. I have learned so much about myself and I'm thrilled to keep on this path. I'm learning to be kind to myself. I'm learning to lighten the load and at least juggle expectations.
The most insidious of these things? Bad reasons. None of the things on my resolutions lists were ever genuinely about improving myself for me. I put too much weight on the opinions of others. I expect I will continue to struggle with people pleasing behaviors for a long time. Thank God for my amazing therapist!
This year, I don't have any resolutions. I have the start of a great routine that can only continue to improve. In this new year, I'm going to keep being who I am- rooted in all my strengths.
We put too much on resolutions and it's time to stop. If you want to make lasting change toward a better life, don't wait for a special day. Pick one thing for yourself and just start, small steps make strong foundations for real improvement.
I believe in you,
Willow R.
Owner, Rooted in my Strength
Comments